[ a real calamity if he did. she wouldn't cry about it, though... she has 11 other ones.
good, he can take it out on a date. with those doe eyes. like looking into a mirror. seriously, who is this gift for again? yato, right?
despite herself, hiyori feels a small smile tug at her mouth when he cheers so happily and strokes at the plush. well, one of them is happy.
aaaand she tries not to wince. what she ends up doing is glancing away, guiltily. ]
But I told you it wasn't a big deal. I probably have presents fr- AT!! At my parents, s-so it's not like I won't have anything...!
[ SHE MADE A MISTAKE. but she just couldn't! stomp on yato's hopes and dreams!! she can't do it! he believes in santa so much. ]
It's not like I didn't get any gifts, either! I got that really beautiful pendant from you and another from Ereshkigal-sama! And Zelda-sama got me this lovely little harp...
[She would be the one witnessing a god crying over it, that's for sure. He just about threw out his back earning the damn thing...!
It's for her, of course! B-But there's nothing wrong with him getting some enjoyment out of it too, right? In fact, the more joy it brings, the better!
Thankfully Yato is so engrossed with his her new gift that he doesn't notice any strange reactions from Hiyori.]
I know~ But while you're here, I wanted to show my appreciation for all you've done. You've been a huge help since we arrived here, after all...
[He grows quiet then, glancing down at the floor as he pets Rainy. Though when she mentions getting a musical instrument, he perks back up and leans forward enthusiastically.]
A harp? Really? Are you going to learn to play it? Then with the dress I got you, you could really be my goddess~!
[ yato...... don't throw our your back over giant plush deer.... ]
I-I haven't really- it feels like you've been the one helping me. [ teaching her how to cook. saving her in candyland. drawing her that picture of touno when he was SICK. it's hanging in her room now, by the way. right over her desk.
"while she's here". does he think she's going to leave? yet this being about his appreciation makes everything hit differently. something in her softens, considering the gifts under a new light. still too much! but different now. it's not just yato showering her with presents as another one of his strange ways to show he cares.
CALL HER HYLIA. ]
Yeah! I'd like to learn to play it. I'm not too musically inclined, but playing an instrument sounds fun! [ JUST GOING TO PASS OVER THE GODDESS THING. EMBARRASSING. ] Eventually. Right now, I'm learning how to embroider from Zelda-sama.
[But it was all for her...! That makes it worthwhile!]
No way! You've gotten me out of so much trouble, and helped me when I needed Yukine's guidance. All I've been doing is playing support.
[True, they've both saved each other, but more than cooking, she's shown him so many better ways of doing things, like handing out inari for Christmas and advising him on marketing himself better. Things he would've struggled to come up with or do on his own.
So even if she is far away from home, he can't help but be grateful for her continued presence here. Which is why he has to make up for the fact she can't be with her family or friends at this time of year. She only really has him, though thankfully she's almost made friends here, too. But as her God of Fortune, her happiness is his responsibility. He takes that very seriously.
YES HYLIA-SAMA]
I'm sure you could do it if you try! Maybe we could even go caroling with it if-- if we're still here next year. [It's a sobering thought, one he does his best to smile through. He doesn't even remark on the lack of remark about her being his goddess.] Embroider, huh? Man, you really will make an excellent wife.
[He smiles a bit ruefully over that, and the fact that this Zelda person is worth a -sama but not him. Just who does she think she is, huh?? He'll have to find out one of these days... For now though, he just shakes his head lightly.]
Not the harp, but I have a little experience with the koto and shamisen.
[ she is temporary guidepost. she's been doing her best to channel yukine. except the slipper-beating part. she won't do that. ]
Support is important, too.
[ very important. people need support. being without her friends and family hasn't been easy, but yato has made it far more tolerable than if she was alone. if yato wasn't here, she wonders if she would have the same mindset as that girl she ran into on christmas. when she was handing out inari. the one that asked her how she takes it when she doesn't know how long she'll be away from everyone.
by having faith, hiyori said.
even if they're here next year. she can't imagine. a year of potentially missing school. of worrying her family by being asleep for a year. they would think she's gone into a coma. poor yukine, too. she cleches her fists in her lap at the sound of "next year". it's not that she dislikes this place, either. and she would miss everyone here and it feels just as terrible to want to leave because she's come to really care about some of these people that come from other worlds. ]
Eeeehhh-- I want to hear you play the shamisen! Hehe, heh...
[ and she calls her zelda-sama because she's! like!! BASICALLY AMATERASU-SAMA IN HER WORLD. he lost his chance at sama when he complained about san! ]
[Sometimes the slippering is a necessary part of his training discipline, tho. Thankfully he hasn't done much of anything to warrant it here. Yet. Give him time.]
True. Still.
[He wants to be able to do more for her. To be her Prince Charming, even if it doesn't involve setting up some dumb, kooky scenario where everybody shuns her. After all, it shouldn't be the other way around - he's the god in this relationship! It's his job to protect her and ensure her contentment!
...which he seems to be doing a piss poor job of by bringing up the possibility of being here for a whole year. He sees those fists. The tension running through her body, sapping away what joy they seemed to have been building up, at least temporarily. Thankfully it doesn't seem to last too long, if her laughter is anything to go by. That's good, he would've hated to have spoiled their good cheer with a thoughtless comment.
His smile widens slightly at her enthusiasm to hear him play. It's been a long time since he's practiced, but still, it could be fun to see if they have one of those instruments here, or something similar, maybe.]
Heh... In that case maybe I'll ask around. See what's available.
[Okay, that seems fair, but--! He's still a god, too!! All he wants is a little respect, dammit!]
[Cue the blushing and bashful avoidance of her gaze!]
W-Well, yeah! Because that's the kind of life you deserve-- a happy one filled with someone who will love and cherish you, and kids if you want...! A normal human life...
[She can totally be a doctor and a mother! She's strong enough to do both!]
[ hiyori's stern looks and sharp words can be just as effective as a slippering. she doesn't want to hurt him if she can help it.
why can't they protect each other and both want each other's happiness, huh? he's the god but as far as she's concerned, he needs it just as much as she does. if not more than she does.
and he does have her respect among... other things.
frustration currently. embarrassment, too. he's so focused on her meeting some guy, getting hooked up, and being a wife. after HOW many times making a spectacle of himself by proposing to her!! ]
I am happy! [ he sounds like her mother, sometimes. talking about husbands and kids. she has a happy life with people who love and cherish her already, doesn't she? m-maybe not kids but that's a long way off! she still has a normal human life, too. right? groaning, she flips over in the beanbag to bury her face in it and kicks her feet once (like yato's flailing on rainy earlier) and then goes limp so she can mumble into the beans. ]
I keep wondering if I finally find someone to go on a date with, will that make you happy...?
[ tenjin mentioned it, too. everyone is always asking her about it.
also, yes, she could absolutely be a doctor and a mother but woof, that's a lot. ]
[They both could protect each other and desire the other's happiness, if Yato had more experience with such things. Hiyori is his first human friend, after all, so all this is him feeling out how a relationship between god and mortal should be. And he takes his status as a deity seriously.
Which is why he's so insistent that she be able to live a normal human life. That's what humanity desires, right? To hit all the important milestones such as obtaining a desired career, finding a marriage partner, having children... All he wants is to help her achieve that. To keep her on the trajectory towards a bright future.
At least, it's what he should want for her...]
I know, it's just-- [He clams up at her groan, biting his lip. Does he have it wrong...? Abandoning the plush reindeer, he takes a couple steps closer to her, one hand raised hesitantly as color spreads across his cheeks.]
No--! I mean-- Yes? I-I don't know...!
[Dropping his hand, both clench into fists as his head dips down so that his chin is touching his chest and his eyes are fixed on the floor. He knows what he wants, but that's not important or relevant. Only Hiyori's happiness is.]
[ guess it's up to her to teach him that humans can also be supremely protective and wish for other's happiness, huh?
and that he shouldn't pigeonhole her into those milestones. sure, they're good paths to take and she'll get there. but... she doesn't want to lose everything she's gained at the far shore. her friends. her experiences. all of it. the hurts and the joys. it's all important. things she can't forget again.
at his first, vehement no she lifts her head and looks over her shoulder in surprise. her brow furrows at the confused yes. finally, she shifts and stands up at his flustered "I don't know". which is it?
she sees his clenched fists, too. ]
You... don't look happy though. [ hiyori points out, reaching out for a fist where he held himself back. truthfully, she didn't sound too happy SHOUTING she WAS, either. ] Or sound it.
[She is his temporary guidepost, after all. If there was ever a person who should help a god learn about the ways of humans, it's them.
It's something he doesn't realize he's doing, which could be part of the reason he's so conflicted on everything. He thinks wanting the best for her means following the path others who are happy have followed. Although... there is a small, selfish desire in there. He wants Hiyori to leave behind a large family for him to look after and care for. A legacy that will last until the end of time.
Realizing his outburst was so strong, he colors slightly, scuffing a socked foot against the floor as his fingers dig deep into his palms. He's sending mixed signals, he realizes that. But... both his feelings are true. He knows that now. That he wants what's best for her, but he also longs to keep her for himself. His two sides, warring against one another.
Maybe it won't make sense from a human perspective, but to him it's something he can't help feeling.]
.....dunno. Maybe it's because I know you can't actually be happy being stuck here with me. [Not that he's bad company or anything, even though sometimes he is. He's totally lying to himself and her, though. That's not the reason at all. He lets her take his fist, trying with some effort to stop clenching it.] ...whatever makes you content is what I want, Hiyori.
[ a job she's taking seriously!! for all of yukine's hard work!! and also yato. him, too.
for how deep he dug his fingers into his palm, she has to work on loosening them as she listening to yato all but demean himself right in front of her. mixed signals don't matter as much anymore when he does that. she takes the hand she's loosened and holds it to her heart with an intense look in her eyes. eyes as hard as the gems in that pendant. ]
Don't you dare assume how I feel. That's not true. I've already told you I want to be with you longer.
[ there might be mixed signals with hiyori sometimes, too, but she thought she's made at least THAT MUCH clear. ]
I like being with you. I said that, too. I wasn't lying when I said either of those things.
[Him too, huh. He sees how it is. Yukine-kun comes first, is that how it is? Kidding. Mostly.
Though she might not be able to see it, the strength of his nails digging into his palms leaves red marks in their wake, the pain helping to get Yato focused. At least, as focused as he can be when she all but presses his hand to her chest. Color creeps further up his face, bridging his nose and making him feel overheated as he finds himself captured by her gaze. Held in place, his breath catches momentarily at both her actions and words.]
...even if it means being stuck in a dream world, separated from everyone?
[That part seems to surprise him (stupidly enough); he figured she'd want to hurry home to her parents and brother, to keep them from worrying about her extended sleeping spell. That she might actually be okay - or hell, even want to stay with him - here comes as something of a shock.]
Y-Yeah, I know. I never believed you were lying. ...I'm sorry if I gave you that impression.
yeah, she hasn't realized where she's put that hand as of yet. since he's not moving, she going to continue to not realize and keep it there. ]
... I'm worried, but that doesn't mean I can't also be happy. It wouldn't be fair to myself if I didn't enjoy things here, too.
[ there's no rule saying that she can't be both. being separated from everyone isn't ideal but she isn't going to let herself be miserable about it forever. that's silly. self-destructive. yes, she does want to go home but what can she do? and she's not going to forsake yato like that. not when he's always trying so hard to make her happy. to be her god of fortune.
besides, like she told helga, it's not all bad here. yato is largely the reason it's not all bad. ]
Don't you feel the same? I know you're worried about Yukine-kun, but you're not letting yourself be upset about it all the time. Or you wouldn't have gotten me all these gifts or have been trying to build a shrine here and gain followers or have fun teaching me how to cook or help save the Ice Queen or any of those things.
[ perhaps as stupidly as him, she grips his wrist with her other hand and moves a step closer. ]
[His own heart sure is beating harder the longer his hand remains there, as he tries desperately to not let it twitch like he might grab her on accident.]
Yeah, that's very true. I wouldn't want you to be fretting all the time over something we have no control over. It's not like it's all bad here.
[Once again, Hiyori proves to be the more mature, rational of the two of them. This is one of the reasons humans are the ones to guide the gods, aside from the fact they were made for them. To fulfill their wishes. It makes Yato wonder if he can manage that, or if he's only making things more difficult for her by being a stupid, stubborn ass.
Hopefully not. He is trying his damnedest to be a good God of Fortune, even on his own without Yukine's help or guidance.]
Of course. I swore to you and him that'd I'd become an existence that can make people happy, and I can't do that if I'm a sad sack, myself. [Now being grappled by her with both hands and having his space invaded, he inhales sharply and glances away, fingers finally twitching in her hold.] I just... want to make sure you have the best time here that you can. It's one of the few things I can do on my own, here, right now.
see, though, he gets it! she relaxes slightly after that. happy enough for a small smile to tug at her lips once he agrees with her. it's not all bad. there are ups and downs, just as much as there is on earth. and they're safe, too. so far.
hiyori doesn't pick up on the twitch of his fingers as his words slam into her more forcefully. she's proud of him for realizing that much in that first bit. the next part? the honesty carries on. ]
You being here is...! [ but stutters. although she doesn't realize where his hand is, she realizes what she says next might be one of those THINGS that makes yato do creepy scary things. ]
Y-You... being here is already doing a lot to make it better, Yato.
[Bad. Very bad. Thankfully some of her calmness transfers over to him, easing his tension further so that his hands aren't both so claw-like.
Really, he doesn't think it's such a bad place even with all the craziness that's happened to them over the course of just a couple of months. A lot of it's been fun and exciting, and he feels closer than ever to Hiyori. Especially when she goes so far as to say that his presence has been a big help in making her stay better.
It's... different than her just saying she wants to be with him more. This is... it's her finding comfort in his existence. Something nobody else has ever said. Even Yukine has barely acknowledged that much. But Hiyori... she...]
T-Then I'm glad we ended up arriving together, and that you didn't have to face this alone. For me, too, it's been a blessing to have you here. I... I'd be really lonely without you.
[And his heart would be longing for her, but there's no way he's going to spit that out.]
[ hiyori is also under the impression that this place isn't terrible. there's been some scary, close moments, but... yato was there for her, always, in those moments and saved her.
the reason it isn't bad is because he's here.
oh.
oh...
OH.
oh no. anon-san said something like this. that the person they were in love with made every place feel like this. they discussed this on the roof. safe. comfort. like home. yato's words almost go in one ear and out the other as she is shaken by this revelation. is she... really... actually...? n-no. no no no. ]
Y, yeah. I... [ there, she's noticed his hand and promptly lets go and steps back to give him his personal space back. her eyes are wide and her face feels like it's going to burn right off. she can't look him in the face at ALL. ]
I, um. Yeah. [ what is WRONG with her. ] L-let's move Rainy to the living room? I, I'll pick up this end and you can pick up the other.
[Unaware of the inner turmoil that Hiyori is experiencing, Yato continues gazing at her, a bit wistfully, even. Even now, he wants to take up her hands and hold them close again, press his lips to them and look over her knuckles in order to tell her exactly how he feels. That he.. he...
He can't do it. Even to himself, he can't admit it. Though he knows in his heart what this feeling is, what it means, acknowledging it is a far different story. If he allows himself to accept it, then it'll be unrequited. Agony. Better he just do his best to pretend there's nothing there. Or that he at least isn't conscious of it.
At her suggestion, he nods, glancing down at his now free hands and flexing his fingers. It felt nice, having her holding onto him. So warm. Comforting.]
Ah, yeah. Let's do that. Tell me if she's too heavy for you, okay?
[He did manage to haul her in here himself, but he wouldn't mind the help this time. He grabs the reindeer by the front since that's the heavier end, letting its head peer over his shoulder like some weird lurker. Glancing back at Hiyori, he smiles.]
[ the longer hiyori has time to think, carrying rainy silently from her room and down the hall and into the living room where she agreed to put her, the harder it gets to deny it to herself. these last two months make it especially difficult. she keeps trying, anyway. keeps telling herself 'no way, no way, no way' but then she thinks of the plaques, too, and she's suddenly grabbing rainy for dear life as they set her down by the fireplace.
something is--
she hasn't let go and she stares unseeingly, like her life is flashing before her eyes. it kind of is? but she's going to ignore it. like her life depends on it.
or at least until she can sit down and... figure it all out. act normal, act normal. ]
There! She's in her home for the foreseeable future now! W-welcome home.
[ PATS HER SIDE. seems like hiyori has gotten over the fact that a life-size plush lives in their house now. also, hopefully, whatever he was making in the kitchen didn't burn or anything... ]
[Bumping up against one another in the struggle to deny the hardest!
As they traipse down the hall, Yato's heart does little flip flops from him dwelling on the Feelings He Definitely Doesn't Have. From the lingering ghost of Hiyori's hands upon him, to her words of reassurance, there's just really no getting around it. He definitely lo... lo... He cares for her. A lot!!
Pushing that thought out of his head as they arrive at their destination, he strokes the plush's snout, trying to meet Hiyori's eyes but finding it nigh impossible. He just... can't do it right now. Not when his emotions are so raw.
If he had been able to, he might've noticed her vacant look as well. Is it a good thing or bad that he doesn't? Only time will tell.]
Y-Yeah! Welcome home, Rainy! Hey, maybe we should decorate her for the holidays? Like drape some garland around her neck and put ornaments on her antlers! That'd be cute!
[Thankfully there's no burning smell coming from the kitchen, so it should be safe? (He was preparing to cook eggs, though thankfully he didn't get around to lighting the stove.)]
[ who will win? find out next time on dragonballpaingami.
it's totally fine if he can't meet her eyes because hiyori can't meet his. fair's fair. as if looking into that bright blue will just nail the truth home even harder that she's holding back by a thread. ]
Yes! You know, I was thinking the same thing! [ HAHA WEIRD. ] We haven't taken the tree down yet, so why not? [ they probably SHOULD take the tree down soon, though. it's already the sixth of the month. they're going on three months in reverein now and have no sign of going back. if anything, there are signs that more people are coming here. ]
I think there were some leftover ornaments I put away that there was no room for on the tree! I'll go look for them!!
[ before he can get a word in, hiyori darts off back down the hallway in a pink blur. there's a small closet nearby yato's room that they've tucked a few things away in. extras. she's pretty sure this is where they put them.
her mind runs a mile a minute. though she does her best to think of other things such as embroidery techniques, what she's read so far in those anatomy books, she keeps coming back to one thing. one person. one god.
why did she talk to that anon? she already KNEW she was lying to herself. pretending that she was "just friends" with yato. as she told masaomi!! it shouldn't be this hard to find ornaments... ]
[Spoiler: instead of peas in a pod, they become two cherries on a stem. Matching!!
At least they're on even footing even if they don't know it. Pair of dweebs. There's nobody here to call them out on it, either, so the passivity stand-off continues. (Cue the tumbleweed.)]
Great minds and all that~! [Or weird minds, as the case may be.] Right? And even when we do, we can leave Rainy dressed up to keep the festive cheer going! [The tree is getting pretty dry by now, though... Pretty soon they'll likely need to take it outside and find a place to dispose of it.]
Ah, yea--
[That's all he manages to get out to her retreating back before she's gone, disappearing into the hallway leading to their bedrooms. Blinking, he stares after her, hand still on the reindeer's face. Her odd behavior makes him momentarily forget about his own love-torn heart.
What...? What was that all about? Did he say or do something wrong? Maybe she needed the bathroom and was just being polite? Either way, he continues standing there in a daze for another minute or so before letting his hands drop. Ah, right... He should clean up in the kitchen. Or better still, finish making breakfast for them. He's hungry.
For a lot more than eggs, but that can't be helped. Scratching at the back of his head, he sighs at himself and wanders out of the room. Stupid self...]
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no subject
good, he can take it out on a date. with those doe eyes. like looking into a mirror. seriously, who is this gift for again? yato, right?
despite herself, hiyori feels a small smile tug at her mouth when he cheers so happily and strokes at the plush. well, one of them is happy.
aaaand she tries not to wince. what she ends up doing is glancing away, guiltily. ]
But I told you it wasn't a big deal. I probably have presents fr- AT!! At my parents, s-so it's not like I won't have anything...!
[ SHE MADE A MISTAKE. but she just couldn't! stomp on yato's hopes and dreams!! she can't do it! he believes in santa so much. ]
It's not like I didn't get any gifts, either! I got that really beautiful pendant from you and another from Ereshkigal-sama! And Zelda-sama got me this lovely little harp...
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It's for her, of course! B-But there's nothing wrong with him getting some enjoyment out of it too, right? In fact, the more joy it brings, the better!
Thankfully Yato is so engrossed with
hisher new gift that he doesn't notice any strange reactions from Hiyori.]I know~ But while you're here, I wanted to show my appreciation for all you've done. You've been a huge help since we arrived here, after all...
[He grows quiet then, glancing down at the floor as he pets Rainy. Though when she mentions getting a musical instrument, he perks back up and leans forward enthusiastically.]
A harp? Really? Are you going to learn to play it? Then with the dress I got you, you could really be my goddess~!
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I-I haven't really- it feels like you've been the one helping me. [ teaching her how to cook. saving her in candyland. drawing her that picture of touno when he was SICK. it's hanging in her room now, by the way. right over her desk.
"while she's here". does he think she's going to leave? yet this being about his appreciation makes everything hit differently. something in her softens, considering the gifts under a new light. still too much! but different now. it's not just yato showering her with presents as another one of his strange ways to show he cares.
CALL HER HYLIA.]Yeah! I'd like to learn to play it. I'm not too musically inclined, but playing an instrument sounds fun! [ JUST GOING TO PASS OVER THE GODDESS THING. EMBARRASSING. ] Eventually. Right now, I'm learning how to embroider from Zelda-sama.
Can you play the harp?
no subject
No way! You've gotten me out of so much trouble, and helped me when I needed Yukine's guidance. All I've been doing is playing support.
[True, they've both saved each other, but more than cooking, she's shown him so many better ways of doing things, like handing out inari for Christmas and advising him on marketing himself better. Things he would've struggled to come up with or do on his own.
So even if she is far away from home, he can't help but be grateful for her continued presence here. Which is why he has to make up for the fact she can't be with her family or friends at this time of year. She only really has him, though thankfully she's almost made friends here, too. But as her God of Fortune, her happiness is his responsibility. He takes that very seriously.
YES HYLIA-SAMA]I'm sure you could do it if you try! Maybe we could even go caroling with it if-- if we're still here next year. [It's a sobering thought, one he does his best to smile through. He doesn't even remark on the lack of remark about her being his goddess.] Embroider, huh? Man, you really will make an excellent wife.
[He smiles a bit ruefully over that, and the fact that this Zelda person is worth a -sama but not him. Just who does she think she is, huh?? He'll have to find out one of these days... For now though, he just shakes his head lightly.]
Not the harp, but I have a little experience with the koto and shamisen.
1/3
Support is important, too.
[ very important. people need support. being without her friends and family hasn't been easy, but yato has made it far more tolerable than if she was alone. if yato wasn't here, she wonders if she would have the same mindset as that girl she ran into on christmas. when she was handing out inari. the one that asked her how she takes it when she doesn't know how long she'll be away from everyone.
by having faith, hiyori said.
even if they're here next year. she can't imagine. a year of potentially missing school. of worrying her family by being asleep for a year. they would think she's gone into a coma. poor yukine, too. she cleches her fists in her lap at the sound of "next year". it's not that she dislikes this place, either. and she would miss everyone here and it feels just as terrible to want to leave because she's come to really care about some of these people that come from other worlds. ]
Eeeehhh-- I want to hear you play the shamisen! Hehe, heh...
[ and she calls her zelda-sama because she's! like!! BASICALLY AMATERASU-SAMA IN HER WORLD. he lost his chance at sama when he complained about san! ]
no subject
wait what did he ]
no subject
[ well. like. one day?? maybe?? BUT NOT FOR A WHILE, OKAY.
she has to be a doctor. ]
Y-You're always bringing that up!!
1/2
trainingdiscipline, tho. Thankfully he hasn't done much of anything to warrant it here. Yet. Give him time.]True. Still.
[He wants to be able to do more for her. To be her Prince Charming, even if it doesn't involve setting up some dumb, kooky scenario where everybody shuns her. After all, it shouldn't be the other way around - he's the god in this relationship! It's his job to protect her and ensure her contentment!
...which he seems to be doing a piss poor job of by bringing up the possibility of being here for a whole year. He sees those fists. The tension running through her body, sapping away what joy they seemed to have been building up, at least temporarily. Thankfully it doesn't seem to last too long, if her laughter is anything to go by. That's good, he would've hated to have spoiled their good cheer with a thoughtless comment.
His smile widens slightly at her enthusiasm to hear him play. It's been a long time since he's practiced, but still, it could be fun to see if they have one of those instruments here, or something similar, maybe.]
Heh... In that case maybe I'll ask around. See what's available.
[Okay, that seems fair, but--! He's still a god, too!! All he wants is a little respect, dammit!]
no subject
W-Well, yeah! Because that's the kind of life you deserve-- a happy one filled with someone who will love and cherish you, and kids if you want...! A normal human life...
[She can totally be a doctor and a mother! She's strong enough to do both!]
no subject
why can't they protect each other and both want each other's happiness, huh? he's the god but as far as she's concerned, he needs it just as much as she does. if not more than she does.
and he does have her respect among... other things.
frustration currently. embarrassment, too. he's so focused on her meeting some guy, getting hooked up, and being a wife. after HOW many times making a spectacle of himself by proposing to her!! ]
I am happy! [ he sounds like her mother, sometimes. talking about husbands and kids. she has a happy life with people who love and cherish her already, doesn't she? m-maybe not kids but that's a long way off! she still has a normal human life, too. right? groaning, she flips over in the beanbag to bury her face in it and kicks her feet once (like yato's flailing on rainy earlier) and then goes limp so she can mumble into the beans. ]
I keep wondering if I finally find someone to go on a date with, will that make you happy...?
[ tenjin mentioned it, too. everyone is always asking her about it.
also, yes, she could absolutely be a doctor and a mother but woof, that's a lot. ]
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Which is why he's so insistent that she be able to live a normal human life. That's what humanity desires, right? To hit all the important milestones such as obtaining a desired career, finding a marriage partner, having children... All he wants is to help her achieve that. To keep her on the trajectory towards a bright future.
At least, it's what he should want for her...]
I know, it's just-- [He clams up at her groan, biting his lip. Does he have it wrong...? Abandoning the plush reindeer, he takes a couple steps closer to her, one hand raised hesitantly as color spreads across his cheeks.]
No--! I mean-- Yes? I-I don't know...!
[Dropping his hand, both clench into fists as his head dips down so that his chin is touching his chest and his eyes are fixed on the floor. He knows what he wants, but that's not important or relevant. Only Hiyori's happiness is.]
I-If you're happy, then I am, too!
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and that he shouldn't pigeonhole her into those milestones. sure, they're good paths to take and she'll get there. but... she doesn't want to lose everything she's gained at the far shore. her friends. her experiences. all of it. the hurts and the joys. it's all important. things she can't forget again.
at his first, vehement no she lifts her head and looks over her shoulder in surprise. her brow furrows at the confused yes. finally, she shifts and stands up at his flustered "I don't know". which is it?
she sees his clenched fists, too. ]
You... don't look happy though. [ hiyori points out, reaching out for a fist where he held himself back. truthfully, she didn't sound too happy SHOUTING she WAS, either. ] Or sound it.
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It's something he doesn't realize he's doing, which could be part of the reason he's so conflicted on everything. He thinks wanting the best for her means following the path others who are happy have followed. Although... there is a small, selfish desire in there. He wants Hiyori to leave behind a large family for him to look after and care for. A legacy that will last until the end of time.
Realizing his outburst was so strong, he colors slightly, scuffing a socked foot against the floor as his fingers dig deep into his palms. He's sending mixed signals, he realizes that. But... both his feelings are true. He knows that now. That he wants what's best for her, but he also longs to keep her for himself. His two sides, warring against one another.
Maybe it won't make sense from a human perspective, but to him it's something he can't help feeling.]
.....dunno. Maybe it's because I know you can't actually be happy being stuck here with me. [Not that he's bad company or anything, even though sometimes he is. He's totally lying to himself and her, though. That's not the reason at all. He lets her take his fist, trying with some effort to stop clenching it.] ...whatever makes you content is what I want, Hiyori.
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for how deep he dug his fingers into his palm, she has to work on loosening them as she listening to yato all but demean himself right in front of her. mixed signals don't matter as much anymore when he does that. she takes the hand she's loosened and holds it to her heart with an intense look in her eyes. eyes as hard as the gems in that pendant. ]
Don't you dare assume how I feel. That's not true. I've already told you I want to be with you longer.
[ there might be mixed signals with hiyori sometimes, too, but she thought she's made at least THAT MUCH clear. ]
I like being with you. I said that, too. I wasn't lying when I said either of those things.
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Kidding. Mostly.Though she might not be able to see it, the strength of his nails digging into his palms leaves red marks in their wake, the pain helping to get Yato focused. At least, as focused as he can be when she all but presses his hand to her chest. Color creeps further up his face, bridging his nose and making him feel overheated as he finds himself captured by her gaze. Held in place, his breath catches momentarily at both her actions and words.]
...even if it means being stuck in a dream world, separated from everyone?
[That part seems to surprise him (stupidly enough); he figured she'd want to hurry home to her parents and brother, to keep them from worrying about her extended sleeping spell. That she might actually be okay - or hell, even want to stay with him - here comes as something of a shock.]
Y-Yeah, I know. I never believed you were lying. ...I'm sorry if I gave you that impression.
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yeah, she hasn't realized where she's put that hand as of yet. since he's not moving, she going to continue to not realize and keep it there. ]
... I'm worried, but that doesn't mean I can't also be happy. It wouldn't be fair to myself if I didn't enjoy things here, too.
[ there's no rule saying that she can't be both. being separated from everyone isn't ideal but she isn't going to let herself be miserable about it forever. that's silly. self-destructive. yes, she does want to go home but what can she do? and she's not going to forsake yato like that. not when he's always trying so hard to make her happy. to be her god of fortune.
besides, like she told helga, it's not all bad here. yato is largely the reason it's not all bad. ]
Don't you feel the same? I know you're worried about Yukine-kun, but you're not letting yourself be upset about it all the time. Or you wouldn't have gotten me all these gifts or have been trying to build a shrine here and gain followers or have fun teaching me how to cook or help save the Ice Queen or any of those things.
[ perhaps as stupidly as him, she grips his wrist with her other hand and moves a step closer. ]
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Yeah, that's very true. I wouldn't want you to be fretting all the time over something we have no control over. It's not like it's all bad here.
[Once again, Hiyori proves to be the more mature, rational of the two of them. This is one of the reasons humans are the ones to guide the gods, aside from the fact they were made for them. To fulfill their wishes. It makes Yato wonder if he can manage that, or if he's only making things more difficult for her by being a stupid, stubborn ass.
Hopefully not. He is trying his damnedest to be a good God of Fortune, even on his own without Yukine's help or guidance.]
Of course. I swore to you and him that'd I'd become an existence that can make people happy, and I can't do that if I'm a sad sack, myself. [Now being grappled by her with both hands and having his space invaded, he inhales sharply and glances away, fingers finally twitching in her hold.] I just... want to make sure you have the best time here that you can. It's one of the few things I can do on my own, here, right now.
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see, though, he gets it! she relaxes slightly after that. happy enough for a small smile to tug at her lips once he agrees with her. it's not all bad. there are ups and downs, just as much as there is on earth. and they're safe, too. so far.
hiyori doesn't pick up on the twitch of his fingers as his words slam into her more forcefully. she's proud of him for realizing that much in that first bit. the next part? the honesty carries on. ]
You being here is...! [ but stutters. although she doesn't realize where his hand is, she realizes what she says next might be one of those THINGS that makes yato do creepy scary things. ]
Y-You... being here is already doing a lot to make it better, Yato.
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Really, he doesn't think it's such a bad place even with all the craziness that's happened to them over the course of just a couple of months. A lot of it's been fun and exciting, and he feels closer than ever to Hiyori. Especially when she goes so far as to say that his presence has been a big help in making her stay better.
It's... different than her just saying she wants to be with him more. This is... it's her finding comfort in his existence. Something nobody else has ever said. Even Yukine has barely acknowledged that much. But Hiyori... she...]
T-Then I'm glad we ended up arriving together, and that you didn't have to face this alone. For me, too, it's been a blessing to have you here. I... I'd be really lonely without you.
[And his heart would be longing for her, but there's no way he's going to spit that out.]
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the reason it isn't bad is because he's here.
oh.
oh...
OH.
oh no. anon-san said something like this. that the person they were in love with made every place feel like this. they discussed this on the roof. safe. comfort. like home. yato's words almost go in one ear and out the other as she is shaken by this revelation. is she... really... actually...? n-no. no no no. ]
Y, yeah. I... [ there, she's noticed his hand and promptly lets go and steps back to give him his personal space back. her eyes are wide and her face feels like it's going to burn right off. she can't look him in the face at ALL. ]
I, um. Yeah. [ what is WRONG with her. ] L-let's move Rainy to the living room? I, I'll pick up this end and you can pick up the other.
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He can't do it. Even to himself, he can't admit it. Though he knows in his heart what this feeling is, what it means, acknowledging it is a far different story. If he allows himself to accept it, then it'll be unrequited. Agony. Better he just do his best to pretend there's nothing there. Or that he at least isn't conscious of it.
At her suggestion, he nods, glancing down at his now free hands and flexing his fingers. It felt nice, having her holding onto him. So warm. Comforting.]
Ah, yeah. Let's do that. Tell me if she's too heavy for you, okay?
[He did manage to haul her in here himself, but he wouldn't mind the help this time. He grabs the reindeer by the front since that's the heavier end, letting its head peer over his shoulder like some weird lurker. Glancing back at Hiyori, he smiles.]
Ready?
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Yeah. [ STOP SAYING YEAH. ] I, I mean! Ready...
[ the longer hiyori has time to think, carrying rainy silently from her room and down the hall and into the living room where she agreed to put her, the harder it gets to deny it to herself. these last two months make it especially difficult. she keeps trying, anyway. keeps telling herself 'no way, no way, no way' but then she thinks of the plaques, too, and she's suddenly grabbing rainy for dear life as they set her down by the fireplace.
something is--
she hasn't let go and she stares unseeingly, like her life is flashing before her eyes. it kind of is? but she's going to ignore it. like her life depends on it.
or at least until she can sit down and... figure it all out. act normal, act normal. ]
There! She's in her home for the foreseeable future now! W-welcome home.
[ PATS HER SIDE. seems like hiyori has gotten over the fact that a life-size plush lives in their house now. also, hopefully, whatever he was making in the kitchen didn't burn or anything... ]
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As they traipse down the hall, Yato's heart does little flip flops from him dwelling on the Feelings He Definitely Doesn't Have. From the lingering ghost of Hiyori's hands upon him, to her words of reassurance, there's just really no getting around it. He definitely lo... lo... He cares for her. A lot!!
Pushing that thought out of his head as they arrive at their destination, he strokes the plush's snout, trying to meet Hiyori's eyes but finding it nigh impossible. He just... can't do it right now. Not when his emotions are so raw.
If he had been able to, he might've noticed her vacant look as well. Is it a good thing or bad that he doesn't? Only time will tell.]
Y-Yeah! Welcome home, Rainy! Hey, maybe we should decorate her for the holidays? Like drape some garland around her neck and put ornaments on her antlers! That'd be cute!
[Thankfully there's no burning smell coming from the kitchen, so it should be safe? (He was preparing to cook eggs, though thankfully he didn't get around to lighting the stove.)]
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dragonballpaingami.it's totally fine if he can't meet her eyes because hiyori can't meet his. fair's fair. as if looking into that bright blue will just nail the truth home even harder that she's holding back by a thread. ]
Yes! You know, I was thinking the same thing! [ HAHA WEIRD. ] We haven't taken the tree down yet, so why not? [ they probably SHOULD take the tree down soon, though. it's already the sixth of the month. they're going on three months in reverein now and have no sign of going back. if anything, there are signs that more people are coming here. ]
I think there were some leftover ornaments I put away that there was no room for on the tree! I'll go look for them!!
[ before he can get a word in, hiyori darts off back down the hallway in a pink blur. there's a small closet nearby yato's room that they've tucked a few things away in. extras. she's pretty sure this is where they put them.
her mind runs a mile a minute. though she does her best to think of other things such as embroidery techniques, what she's read so far in those anatomy books, she keeps coming back to one thing. one person. one god.
why did she talk to that anon? she already KNEW she was lying to herself. pretending that she was "just friends" with yato. as she told masaomi!! it shouldn't be this hard to find ornaments... ]
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At least they're on even footing even if they don't know it. Pair of dweebs. There's nobody here to call them out on it, either, so the passivity stand-off continues. (Cue the tumbleweed.)]
Great minds and all that~! [Or weird minds, as the case may be.] Right? And even when we do, we can leave Rainy dressed up to keep the festive cheer going! [The tree is getting pretty dry by now, though... Pretty soon they'll likely need to take it outside and find a place to dispose of it.]
Ah, yea--
[That's all he manages to get out to her retreating back before she's gone, disappearing into the hallway leading to their bedrooms. Blinking, he stares after her, hand still on the reindeer's face. Her odd behavior makes him momentarily forget about his own love-torn heart.
What...? What was that all about? Did he say or do something wrong? Maybe she needed the bathroom and was just being polite? Either way, he continues standing there in a daze for another minute or so before letting his hands drop. Ah, right... He should clean up in the kitchen. Or better still, finish making breakfast for them. He's hungry.
For a lot more than eggs, but that can't be helped. Scratching at the back of his head, he sighs at himself and wanders out of the room. Stupid self...]
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